Character Development

ROLE OF PARENTS IN CHILDREN’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

(Portions of this section are taken from the book Children And The Life Of Faith by David Isaacs and published by the Instituto do Ciencias de la Educacion, Universidad De Navarra, Spain, 1984.)

Before discussing how to institute a CDP in the school, it is necessary to review the role of parents in their children’s education. All parents would like their children to be orderly, generous, sincere, responsible, etc.: but there is a big difference between a vague wish and a planned goal which is, to some extent at least, achievable (that is what an objective involves). If training children in human virtues is to get off the ground, parents have to make a genuine purposeful commitment to it. And if they are to do that, they need to be convinced of the importance of the whole exercise.

A family is a natural organization in which what is related and shared is the most profound and the most specific part of the person – his intimacy. This is precisely why in the family a person can be accepted for what he is and not what he does. If we think of other organizations in society, people are accepted for their usefulness, their functionality. But in a family, each person has the opportunity of being accepted for what he or she is – an individual child of God.

A school is not a natural organization: it is a man-made cultural organization. By providing culture it supports parents in the training of their children. But parents, since they are the primary educators of their children, and live with them in the natural institution of the family, ought to look after those educational things which are the natural responsibility of the family – things for which the family was instituted. To be specific, it is for parents to look after their children’s development in human virtues – the developing of good habits and qualities. Parents should not make the mistake of thinking that it is valid for them to delegate this job to the to the schools their children attend.

People learn most by example, and the example parents set each and every day will be far more powerful than any program existing solely in the school. Therefore, the place to start with CD is at home, and this plan is meant to build on a consciously formed and exhibited program of character building habits existing in each home, lead by the parents, each day. This does not mean parents are or must be “perfect”, but rather that the children must witness a struggle as parents strive to meet the level of commitment and repetitiveness that children need, in order to learn positive, lifelong habits.

Parents need to know their child’s qualities in order to be able to discover the best way for him or her to develop. Development involves three stages: Self-knowledge, followed by self discipline, leading to self surrender; i.e. the service of others. This overall development is achieved through growth in human character and virtues. Freedom to choose is one of mankind’s greatest gifts from God, and developing the child’s character allows them to choose wisely. If this development is not done well, then choosing the right option is impossible, as the child is unaware it even exists, or develops a bad habit of choosing the easy, or selfish option.

So for the CDP to be successful, the wholehearted commitment and involvement of the parents is required in this vital work. As a child’s character development is the primary responsibility of a parent, the continued practical involvement of parents is the key reason for the success or otherwise of CD in a child. The school is an obvious partner in this effort, and the role of the CDC is to bring the parents and school together, to plan and execute the CDP.

The connection between parents and the school in CD can be understood by reviewing the school’s mission statement.